Stomping into the year 2023
I'm just going to start owning it, and so should you.
[January 2, 2023] On owning it—I was grabbing coffee with a friend in the Bay Area. She and I became friends through Taiwan Love Boat, a government sponsored summer program that brought together teenagers to learn the rich culture of Taiwan (also notoriously known for partying and young people finding love). We caught up on career, wedding proposals, and growing older.
She graduated and had a master’s from UCLA, a feat I admired her for. When we were talking about goals for 2023, I told her I was going to stomp through the year.
I nodded and shared my thoughts. Whatever I do, i’m just going to own it—I feel very shy or cringe sometimes about what I do, and I realized I’m going to stop that feeling in its tracks. I’m going to say I’m a YouTuber. I’m going to say I’m a founder. I’m going to say I’m a writer. I changed my LinkedIn to reflect this and when I see those words by my name, it helps reinforce the idea.
She expressed her imposter syndrome of calling herself a scientist; though she had the degree, the credibility, and the job, she felt like she couldn’t call herself one. I was flabbergasted. She was an intelligent, hard working person, and I let her know that. In parallel, I realized I do the same; I downplay my accomplishments and my projects, but why? Fear of judgement. I told her that we should both own our titles and stomp through the year together.
On Making Money the Unconventional Way
I was recently approached for a video content partnership close to $1,500 USD. I was ecstatic and I realized how money really can be made in such unconventional ways. Note: Being a part-time creator doesn’t mean you’ll always have a consistent income stream, but I enjoy working part-time at a startup and doing my own thing for now.
Look around you—everything on your table was created, marketed, sold, and bought. Everything from the paper envelope to the makeup blender sponge to the Moleskine journal (I’m just naming everything around me).
Recently, someone was a complete asshole and scoffed at me for being a YouTuber. It’s hilarious because I’m always curious why people like him exist. And why is it always men? Like what made you so toxic, degrading to other people, and their interests? I haven’t been around someone like him for a really long time, so it kind of felt like ingesting poison for the day. This only reinforces the idea that I need to be careful of who I spend time with—though luckily for me, I’m blessed to have really good people in my life.
“At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
―Maya Angelou
On Love and Dating
Dating in your later 20s is wayyy different than dating in your early 20s. For starters, my priorities have shifted. I used to just have fun. Now I date with intentionality. I’m looking for my life partner who’ll build a life with me (and businesses if interested), not a booty call. This is really weird, but I watch out for the little things. How they speak of their family members, how they react when we sit in silence, and if they’re considerate (ie pouring water for himself, but not you).
I don’t engage with profiles that say “open to short term relationships” or “dating intentions unknown.” Photos of them inebriated, popping bottles, or surrounded by a throng of women are swiped left. I become curious of their religion (if any) and how our values are aligned. It feels more serious, more straight to the point. It sometimes feels like we’re doing the 36 questions that lead to love.
People keep telling me to have fun and enjoy dating, but honestly, I never found it to be fun. It feels exhausting and I’m quicker to know if something will or won’t work out long term. It’s not a good feeling to end something, but I know it’s for the better. There is a growing curiosity inside myself, to see who that person could be—the one who gets to witness the most softest, vulnerable parts of me, while dealing with my thorny edges and peculiarities. A role of a best friend, a husband, and to me, the most important: a confidant.
But anyways, I will try to write at least once a month for this newsletter. Given all the things going on, I am trying to figure out a good balance—this newsletter is for me to continue practicing writing.
Feel free to follow me on Instagram or email me at efangily@gmail.com. Happy New Year, my dear friends!