The friendship recession
Humans are wired to be social creatures and friends.
I love the Big Think Channel! I’ve learned so much from it—it gives me a blend of The Vice, Economist, and NPR vibes. Most recently, I watched a video on The Friendship Recession.
Friendship was something that ancient philosophers took very seriously: it is genuine and radical equality. It is not to get something out of it yourself, and not a transactional relationship in any way.
There is a decline in the number of people who say they have close friends
geographical mobility stretches their network and decreases amount of spending time together in proximity
parents spend more time on parenting and working to cover costs to raise children
there’s a huge emphasis on work and career, scholars call “workism” that your identity is so wrapped in your work identity
when relationships break up, it also fractures friendship groups
Pandemic has been a stress test for our friendship network
Downside of having less friends
lack of opportunities and communications info channel: you become isolated in an economic sense if you don’t have friends
Men’s friendship decline has risen from 3% back in the 1990s to 15% in 2021
The worst case scenarios are that many people isolated in sickness and sadness
Friendships don’t form themselves. It doesn’t bloom all on its own. It’s more like a woodworking project that you have to carve and work on. One of the necessary steps is to admitting that you want a friend, which requires you to be vulnerable.
What I’ve Been Up to
I recently got a Nespresso Inissia for $38 dollars and paid extra $10 for delivery. Got this on Facebook marketplace—what a steal! Will I revert back into that tweakin’ coffee crazed Emily in Singapore? Perhaps.
Creating advertisement and media kits. You know what’s fascinating? As long as you have an engaged audience or following with the right platform to speak to, you can monetize anything. At 4,000 followers, I once scored a partnership with a tech education platform for $1,500 USD. Sometimes you don’t need hundreds and thousands of followers.
I still think content is a marathon, not a sprint. YouTube is something I’ve put off for a while because does anyone even like long form content anymore?! But alas, someone once told me to stick with what is working, and YouTube has worked in the past so I’m sticking to it.
Talking less and putting in the work. I share a lot about my life, from the way I think about life, what I’m working on, and my dreams, ambitions, and future. It does grate at me when people make certain assumptions or think they know me fully. What you see on social media is just one dimension. Always. I tell you what I want you to know.
Design Her Travel Podcast
Most recently, I talked to Kim Anderson (a writer, coach, and researcher) on her podcast Design Her Travel. I had such a fun time connecting and discussing my journey to where I am today.
Love your comparison of friendship to a woodworking project that both people are carving and working on. I do think admitting the importance of friendship in our lives is a courageous and vulnerable first step. Been wanting to read this book- Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World. I think it touches on some of the points you wrote about.